Mapping our lives

We were having a dinner conversation (yes! it can be done!) last night about where each of us was born, looking at the U.S.A. placemats.  In the case of my three kiddos, it so happens that they were all born in the same hospital, just down the hall from one another, in different years.  Of course, my birthplace is off the map, so my dear esposo explained to Dean where Panama is, and then proceeded to narrate the story of all the places where I grew up - in order, ending with where Daddy and Mommy met (College Station, TX), got married (San Antonio), first lived together (Dallas), went to grad school (Seattle) and have lived since (Portland). 

Dean watched Daddy's finger point to every place I lived, and when Matt finished, he asked, "But how do you know all the places where Mommy lived even though you weren't with her?"  I was pretty impressed, too - it's a long list of places to keep track of.  I said, "When you love someone, you learn all about them, even the parts that they did before you knew them." 
 "But, Mommy, I really love you, and I don't know all about you." Wow.
"Well, Dean, we have lots of time.  You can ask me any questions, and you'll learn all about me. And I'll keep asking you questions so that I can continue to learn all about you."

I love age 5!  He is soaking it all in. And we need a bigger map.

(p.s. This is a photo that was taken during another dinner conversation, when Dean was told that someday he would grow facial hair.  And, I was lucky enough to capture his bewildered and perplexed reaction!)

Outtakes

In October, as if I didn't have enough going on (er, see previous post), I scheduled a photo shoot at Fernhill Park with my friend Erin, who started a business with her partner Kate, Parallel Photography.  The setting was amazing and the fall weather was perfect.  The kids were troopers, playing in the trees, gathering leaves, acorns, and sticks.  They displayed a true glimpse of their personalities in this short period of time - including little Leo, who was teething, in need of a nap, and preferred to be eating leaves.  My heart was set on capturing all three of them happily together, but Leo wanted nothing to do with my vision.  He was happier being held by me or Matthew.
 
These shots didn’t make the Christmas card (um, yes, I’ve already made and ordered them…).  The more I look at these, though, the more I absolutely adore them.  This is a slice of our lives, beautifully rendered by Erin and Kate.  Don’t you just want to love and comfort my sweet baby boy?  Leo looks so adorable even when he’s unhappy.  Fiona and I could hardly contain ourselves.





More lovely photos by Parallel Photography to come...

October Album: my pumpkins

October is always an eventful month, starting with Matthew’s birthday, and ending on Halloween, with Dean turning 5 right smack in the middle – so much to celebrate.

Here we are!  A family photo in one take – this was photographed on Matt’s birthday at the kids’ school open house. 

This month, Leo loves to stand!  He is upright constantly, where he can get a better view and get into everything.  He’s also cutting some more teeth!  October brought one bottom tooth, for a total of three, and he’s definitely showing signs of some top teeth.  It doesn’t stop him from being incredibly active, but he lets us know when it bothers him.

  

For Halloween, we celebrated with three pumpkins – Dean and Fiona both wanted scary jack-o-lanterns (Dean’s has the goatee), and we made one winking one with three bottom teeth for you-know-who.

Costumes were pretty snappy – nothing homemade this year (who am I kidding?  Have I ever??).  Here’s Dean trying on his Darth Vader costume. 

  

We got to dress them up for school this year, too, which they loved.  Matthew and I LOVE this photo of Fiona’s class.  All of the princesses are in taffeta and rhinestones, and our own sweet Buzz Lightyear, the prettiest Buzz there ever was.  Fiona doesn’t just want to dress like her favorite character.  She wants to BE him.  To infinity and beyond.

On Halloween night, we tried to set our kids on the steps with their costumes, but Leo wouldn’t have it.  So, even though I’m unadorned, it’s the only way we could capture my three pumpkins.

What fun :) 

Dean is a whole handful!

What a time to celebrate 5!  Oma and Papa flew in for the occasion, and they even took Dean and Fiona to the coast overnight before the big day.

 

We celebrated with a small party at the park for a Jedi Scavenger Hunt.  Here’s the mission – and my beloved, a Jedi Master, explains the rules of the quest to the Younglings. 

And they’re off!  Matt gets big-time points for this.  I think he enjoys wielding the lightsaber though.  It glows.

Hunting for nature items.

The reward?  A Chinese yo-yo lightsaber of course.  Best. Party favor.  Ever.

   

Now the cake.  Darth Vader in a cupcake mosaic.  Chocolate with buttercream frosting sprinkled in chocolate wafers and black sugar with white icing and silver crystal highlights.  Phew.  All because I refused to buy the Wilton Darth Vader pan on eBay.  I highly recommend this cupcake method though.  No forks.  Barely needed plates.

Check out the lightsaber-ish candles.

Playground time.

 

And the celebrating didn’t stop there!  The next day was Dean’s actual birthday, where we celebrated with yet another chocolate cake – rolled with ice cream this time.  And a viewing of “Cars 2” at the Kennedy School.  Plus presents.  I’m exhausted!

What is that big red present?  Drum roll, please…

   

Seriously!  We’re nuts.  I blame Matthew.

Fiona was feeling a bit left out, so we thought this would be a good time to give her the upgraded Buzz Lightyear costume we got her for Halloween since she’s worn the other one thin (and she still insists on going as Buzz Lightyear).

  

And now we begin looking forward to the next birthday…

lightning master

Today I visited Dean during school just before his naptime.  He was quietly playing with some magnet toys, and he kept referring to "lightning master". 

Finally, I asked him, "What is 'lightning master'?"  He said, "Lightning Master is a movie I made up.  It's like 'Peter Pan'.  There's a guy NAMED 'Lightning Master' IN it." (emphasis his). 
Brilliant.

the farmer debriefs the flight

So... just a debrief:  it IS possible to fly on an airplane solo with three children - two on either side plus one infant on your lap.  It's pretty tight, and I don't recommend longer than three hours.  But it can be done.  Both flights to and from Denver were uneventful - my two-year-old and four-year-old told me they wanted to get off about an hour and a half into the air both times.  Um, not an option.  But they tolerated the rest of the way each time, mainly eating their way through it.  The key was providing snacks they could play with:  multi-colored goldfish and animal crackers.  And lots of tiny stickers to count and stick on their notebooks.  Also a calm mom with a flight attendant call button.  No problem.  None at all.

Our visit was awesome, too - I'll post some pics soon.

a fox, a chicken, and a bag of seed

I've been thinking a lot about this riddle and having three kids.

A farmer has to get a fox, a chicken, and a bag of seed across a river.
He has a rowboat, and it can only carry him and one other thing.
If the fox and the chicken are left together, the fox will eat the chicken.
If the chicken and the seed are left together, the chicken will eat the seed.
How does the farmer do it?

If you think about all of these relationships together, it will make sense who is who.  Dean is the fairly sly fox,  presenting no real hazard to baby Leo, my sweet bag of harmless seed.  My two-year old is clearly the chicken.  Something about Fia tempts Dean to ruffle her feathers, so to speak - which is oh-so-easy to do.  And conflict will reach high peaks, resulting in tears and  feelings hurt and yelling that could wake even the most resilient bag of seed. And something about Leo - everything about Leo - requires that we must watch Fiona constantly lest she smother him with doting sisterly love.  Cluck cluck.  "Give him space," I hear myself saying all the time.  And many times they all need to be separated lest the rowboat (my arms? my sanity?) tip over.  It is a tricky balance for a novice farmer.

I am not trying to say that my children will eat each other, but if you remember the way this riddle is solved, I think about it constantly.  Because I am constantly rowing up and down that river.  When I fix dinner or use the restroom or run downstairs to wash a load of laundry or change or feed the baby, or (heaven forbid!) shower, I think about this riddle.  I think about which combination presents less risk at that moment.  I think about whether or not my darling hen has napped yet, or who she is most likely to have a conflict with, since the chicken in this riddle and a two-year-old have the most variables.  I think about my bag of seed as really a bag of jumping Mexican beans, since he no longer (or ever has?) been still (having first rolled over at one week old).

I think about this riddle especially as I am about to embark on a flight to Denver next week.  Matthew and I decided to take advantage of the Labor Day holiday in combination with the kids' school in-service day.  I'll have the opportunity to visit my sister Gina and family in her new house while allowing Matt some time alone to work on the completion of our second bathroom without worrying about the noise and mess.  Granted, it is a nonstop flight - with Matthew on one end of the flight and my sister on the other end.  But three hours inside an encapsulated steel tube with the fox, chicken and bag of seed is a bit daunting.  One successful run to Costco with these three last Friday, and now we're going airborne?  Really? 

My fellow Southwest passengers: please be easy on us.  The farmer must make it across safely with everyone in tact.

my three

Taken on Easter Sunday at my sister's house in Coppell. 

I love love love these photos! 

A book review: Raising Cain

I recently finished reading Raising Cain for one of my two(!) book clubs - this book club focuses on mamahood and raising children (my other book club is focused on current fiction, mostly).  It was a pretty sobering book:  the premise is that boys aren't receiving the "emotional literacy" to respond to the situations and changes that they face throughout boyhood - instead they often resort to stoicism or solitude.  The topics of sex, alcoholism, depression, suicide, and violence, for this mother-of-a-four-year-old-boy were a bit alarming.  I definitely became more self-aware and probably self-conscious of everyday interactions with my boy...  maybe even paranoid.  Unlike the other books we've read for our book club, Raising Cain didn't include a "how to" or guidance to prevent such horrible outcomes that were presented as case studies... until the very last chapter.  I am so glad I stuck with it, but WOW.  The book could have been more instructive throughout.  At least to prevent some hyperventilating.

Despite my apprehensions with this book, it was truly enlightening.  Other books we've read, such as How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (which I strongly recommend), also emphasize the need to encourage our children to express their feelings by gently expressing our own.  Raising Cain offered the same advice, only it was not shy about presenting some consequences for not doing this.  And the consequences took many scary forms.

The authors' emphasis on the importance of "emotional literacy" - for which moms and dads play unique roles in shaping - was really eye-opening.  I have so much to be thankful for in that my DH of 10 years has a tremendous capacity to love and express love to our children, and he has had a significant role in their childcare.  Which is apparently a huge deal anecdotally and statistically.  How lucky is this mama?

The other part that really resonated with me, especially because I have a hard time relating to it, focused on the unique behavior of boys that can, well, sometimes drive me crazy - the constant activity, movement, fiddling with everything, impulsiveness, not thinking-before-acting...  This is all pretty new to me, and according to Matthew, the apple hasn't fallen too far from the tree - not his tree, anyway.  I've found myself overwhelmed at times by my need for more order and control (the enfj in me?  particularly the "J" - I knew those project management classes would come in handy).  What?!  A losing battle, clearly.  The book encourages us to embrace this behavior and not respond with too much outright negativity (unless it's entirely appropriate).  Basically, give boys a safe place to express their high level of activity.  Now, that may have seemed obvious, but what a relief for me!  I should not only expect it, but I should celebrate their exuberance.  Celebrate exuberance!  That actually sounds like fun - and just the nudge I needed as I am about to become a mother of two boys... What great advice for me in the year of JOY.

sprinkle dancing

We have found a new playtime activity to beat the cold and rain that simultaneously cleans carpets!  It's called "sprinkle dancing", and it was invented at our house on Saturday.  What a sensation!  Matthew sprinkled the living room rug with my favorite carpet-freshener of baking soda + several drops of lavender essential oil.  The kiddos took turns sprinkling a little more, and then danced, danced, danced on the rug, stomping in all of that lavender goodness.  The whole house smelled beautiful, and I think the kids wore themselves out.  It was pretty fun to watch (but loud).  Matt vacuumed the whole room, and voila!  Clean rug, tired kids. 

January Album: This is joy

When I look over my photos this month, I see lots of joy – my children playing and being silly with each other and their Daddy,

   

   

keeping us active and laughing (and exhausted!).